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Love Styles: Why We Love the Way We Do

Petra Dvořáková·Personality Psychologist·6 min read·March 22, 2026
Love Styles: Why We Love the Way We Do

Why Do We All Love Differently?

Canadian sociologist John Alan Lee identified six basic love styles in the 1970s that psychologists still use today to understand romantic relationships. Every person combines multiple styles, but one usually dominates.

6 Love Styles (Lee's Love Styles)

1. Eros — Passionate Love

Intense physical attraction. Erotici seek strong emotions, immediate connection, and physical chemistry.

Strength: Intense partnership Challenge: Can fade after the initial passion subsides

2. Ludus — Playful Love

Love as a game and adventure. Ludics enjoy flirting and don't rush into commitment.

Strength: Lightness and fun Challenge: Difficulty building deep, lasting relationships

3. Storge — Friendly Love

Love growing from friendship and shared interests. Slow building of a deep bond.

Strength: Stability and trust Challenge: Less passionate at the beginning

4. Pragma — Practical Love

Rational approach to partner selection. Pragma seeks compatibility in values, goals, and lifestyle.

Strength: Lasting, functional relationships Challenge: May lack spontaneity

5. Mania — Obsessive Love

Intense, possessive love with mood swings. Manic lovers need constant reassurance.

Strength: Deep devotion Challenge: Jealousy, emotional dependency

6. Agape — Altruistic Love

Unconditional love focused on the other's wellbeing. Agape lovers give without expecting reciprocity.

Strength: Deep kindness Challenge: May lead to neglecting one's own needs

How Does Your Style Affect Relationships?

Research has shown that compatibility of love styles is a stronger predictor of relationship satisfaction than age, education, or financial situation.

Most compatible pairs: Eros + Eros, Storge + Pragma, Agape + Eros

Find Your Love Style

The love style test on IQboost will reveal your dominant style and provide specific advice on how to improve your relationships.

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